The Cake is a Lie
by DevilsThunder
Summary: It absolutely had to be an accident, because there was no possible way that Cat Valentine, of all people, could have built a time-traveling cupcake-spaceship on purpose. AU where Jade and Tori and the giant cupcake travel through time and space?
1. Space Cake

**Don't ask too many questions, because I doubt I can answer them. Just sit back and enjoy the random?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, or a TARDIS, unfortunately. Story name is a reference from the video game Portal, which I also don't own.**

* * *

"Maybe if we just hit the lever again?" Vega suggests awkwardly, her hand inching towards it.

"No!" I slap her hand away. "Pulling that shiny piece of chizz is what got us into this mess in the first place!"

"How did this even happen?"

"Well, I think it all started when _someone_," I glare at her, and she has the decency to shrink back in her seat, "said, '_Oh my gracious, I wonder what __**this**__ lever does_?'"

"I don't talk like that," she protests weakly. "And if you had just let me play with the confetti cannon like I wanted-"

"It's not a toy!" I bark. Ugh, that girl gets on every single nerve I have. Whatever. The sooner I figure out how we ended up here, the sooner I figure out how we get back, the sooner I can get away from Vega. Okay, so there's some pretty normal stuff. Steering wheel. Gas pedal. Speedometer. Radio, for whatever reason. But absolutely nothing that tells me how pulling a single, stupid lever, would do what it did. Or how to reverse it. Screw Sikowitz for making Vega and I 'test drive' this stupid rolling chizzbox.

I push a couple buttons and suddenly the giant cupcake is filled with an atrocious noise that, I assume, is the Waggafuffles. "No!" I slam my hand against the radio, hitting every button, and the entire cupcake starts to shake.

"What did you do?" Tori jumps out of her seat and climbs up to look out one of the portholes.

"I made the noise stop," I answer. "What's going on out there?"

"Um…"

I flip a random switch and the lights go out. Okay, well that's one random thing defined. I turn the lights back on just as Tori squeaks, "Jade?"

"What?"

So, if those are the lights, then maybe the knob next to it is for windshield wipers. Does this thing even have a windshield? Maybe it's a periscope wiper?

"Jade, there's an asteroid."

"What?!" I immediately press my eyes against the periscope and, yep, we're flying towards an asteroid belt. "I'm gonna kill Cat!" I frantically spin the steering wheel, praying that maybe something in this flying wazzbag works the way it's supposed to.

"Get in line," Tori groans, slumping back into her seat. "Seriously, why does this stuff always happen to _me_?"

"And why do I always get stuck _with _you?"

"Just hurry up and get us home."

"I'm trying!" I slam my hand into the steering wheel out of frustration, expecting to hear a honk of some sort, not the weird _wub-wub-wub_ that echoes through the entire cupcake. I yank my hands off the steering wheel just as the wubbing stops. "Um…"

"_What did you do?_" She slides out of her seat in despair, melting into a gross Vega-shaped puddle on the floor.

Normally, if Vega sounded that upset, I'd be absolutely thrilled. But, considering that we're trapped in a giant metal cupcake floating through space? Not so happy. A quick glance in the periscope shows that we've ended up in the woods somewhere. Okay, well it looks like Earth, at least, so that's a good thing. "Open the door."

Vega's scrambling across the floor before I've even stood up. She throws the door open, a ridiculously optimistic smile lighting up her face. And then it falls when she realizes we aren't back in the parking lot at school. "Where are we?"

"Earth," I say matter-of-factly. "The planet that humans like me call 'home'. Unfortunately it's not whatever ball of chizz you and Trina oozed off of." I push past her and step out onto what is, most definitely, solid ground.

"Ha ha, Jade." She follows me out of the cupcake as we start to walk around. "But I meant _where on Earth _are we?"

"I don't know, Carmen Sandiego." There's a lot of really tall trees, but that's literally all that I can see. Trees as far as the eye can see. "Upstate somewhere? Maybe Oregon?" I spin around and give her my friendliest smile, which she immediately recoils from. "Why don't you go wander around until you find a nice mountain man with a large axe and ask him?"

"Seriously?" She throws her hands in the air. "You're trying to get me killed, even now? Where are your priorities?" She huffs, actually _huffs_, and starts to stomp away from the cupcake.

I can't help but grin in triumph, deciding to set off in the opposite direction, because why would I follow her? But then I freeze in my tracks, because on the other side of the cupcake… it's not just trees. There's a huge lake not that far from us. In fact, it's so close, that I can see the half-dozen dinosaurs lingering on its shore. The kind of dinosaurs that stand on their back legs. The kind of dinosaurs that hunt and kill and eat other, bigger dinosaurs. "Vega," I say slowly, inching back towards the door of the cupcake.

"No! You want me to go get crazy-murdered by some lunatic lumberjack, then fine! I'll go to look for help and maybe you'll get your wish!"

Seriously. Every single nerve. "Vega!" I hiss, never taking my eyes off the freakin' dinosaurs. "Get back in the cupcake!"

I can tell the exact moment she actually turns around to look at me, because it's the exact moment that one of the dinos does, too. And then it lifts its freakish head and lets out the most blood-curdling sound I've ever heard in my life. Seriously, the movies were so wrong about how those things screeched. "Get in the cupcake!" she screams.

"That's what I'm saying!"

We book it and she slams the door shut behind her. "Oh my god!"

I sit down at the driver's seat and hit every single button I can get my hands on.

"Jade, hurry!"

"I'm trying!"

The screeching outside is getting louder and we've got like, thirty seconds, tops, before those things are gonna be tearing apart this cupcake to get at the delicious human flesh inside and absolutely _none _of the stupid buttons are doing a damn thing. Even punching the steering wheel doesn't help. How the hell did Cat build this thing?!

"Pull the lever!"

"I'm not pulling the stupid lever!"

Vega lunges towards it, and I throw myself on top of her. You might think that being attacked by carnivorous dinosaurs would deter us from fighting, but you'd be very, very wrong. Vega's foot ends up in my ribs. My elbow connects with her throat. We scrabble and the screeching is _right outside_ when Vega bites my arm. Hard. "Holy chizz!" She manages to get free and, of course, she throws herself at the lever and… yep. She pulls it.

The air in the cupcake gets thick, but at least the dino noises have stopped. "Where are we?" I ask as I get to my feet.

She grabs at the periscope and presses her face against it. "It's…" her shoulders deflate and she falls back into the driver's seat, defeated. "_It's outer space again_."

"I told you not to pull the lever!" I push her out of my seat with my foot and sit back down. "Okay, the lever takes us to space. It _always_ takes us to space. That's good to know." I look down at the Tori-shaped pile on the floor. "Can we stop pulling it now?"

"Yes," she whines into the floor, not making any move to get up.

"Good." I turn back to the controls and frown. So the lever only does one thing. But I hit the steering wheel before, and it brought us… back in time to the dinosaurs. Yeah, that doesn't sound crazy at all. Anyway, when I hit it again, it didn't do anything. So... my eyebrow raises as I tentatively hit the horn again.

_Wub-wub-wub._

Vega's groans are drowned out by the dinosaur screeching again. Without thinking, I pull the damn lever. Outer space? Better than hungry, pissed off dinosaurs. "Okay. The lever takes us through space, and the horn takes us through time." I blink slowly. "Right." I start punching every single inch of this damn chizzbox that I can. "I'M GONNA _KILL_," I smash the glass over the speedometer, "CAT VALENTINE _SO BAD_," I snap the plastic switch that controls the lights, "THAT THEY'LL NEVER BE ABLE," I bash the radio controls and the display starts flashing weird numbers, "_TO IDENTIFY HER BODY_!" I slam my fist back into the steering wheel.

_Wub-wub-wub._

"SERIOUSLY?!"

I barely hear Vega whine "Not the dinosaurs again" from the floor before the whole cupcake starts rocking side to side. There's shouting outside, but it definitely sounds human.

"Chill, Vega," I say, looking through the periscope. "It's not the dinosaurs."

She rolls onto her back and sighs in relief. "Oh, thank god."

"Yeah. No dinosaurs. Just the French revolution."

Her groan turns into a dry sort of sob and I grin to myself. This might actually be cool.

I get out of my seat and step over Vega's curled up body, heading towards the door. I crack it open and my eyes grow wide. Swarms of soldiers are running past us like there isn't a giant cupcake in the middle of the street disrupting their war. A cannon fires nearby and a huge cloud of smoke rises over the roof of a house next to us. "Holy France on fire."

"It's like _Les Mis_ but less sad," Vega says right in my ear. I didn't even hear her get up.

"Why don't you go out there and tell them they lose the war. That'll make 'em sad."

"That'll just make them want to kill me."

"Yeah, so you should do it."

Instead of answering, she just slaps my arm.

"Never touch me!"

Suddenly a gun is pointed in our faces and a very aggravated looking French soldier is yelling at us from the doorway. "La revolution ou le Roi?"

"What the chizz?" I pull back from the bayonetted musket threatening my eyeballs.

"La revolution ou le Roi?" He demands again.

"Speak English!" I yell at him.

Vega yanks me back by the shirt. "Le Roi. Definitely le Roi."

"Yeah. What she said," I jerk my thumb towards Vega.

"Vive le Roi?" She says, thrusting a hand into the air uncertainly.

"Vive le Roi!" The soldier seems a little confused, but runs off. I guess whatever Vega said was the right answer since he didn't impale us and all.

"I didn't know you speak French," I mumble as I lean out of the cupcake a bit. Most of the soldiers have run off towards where it sounds like the fight is, but there are tons of bodies littering the street. I wonder if I could-

"Don't you _dare_ loot any corpses!" Vega hisses, jerking on my arm.

"When am I ever gonna get the chance again?"

"Jade," she says warningly.

"Just a musket. Or an arm."

"Jade!"

"It's not like they're gonna miss a random limb!" When she just gapes at me in shock, I gesture out to the street. "What? They're not! They're dead!"

She doesn't even argue with me anymore. Just slams the door shut and points to the steering wheel. "Take us home!"

"I'm gonna take us back to the dinosaurs and feed you to them," I grumble as I stomp back to my seat.

"It'd be better than having to sit next to a gross, rotting arm."

"Please, an arm that _just_ got blown off wouldn't start to rot for at least-"

"I don't want to know," Tori interrupts quickly. "And I don't want to know how you know how long it takes for an arm to start rotting."

I smirk at the look of discomfort on her face. "It's a really interesting story." She stares at me for a minute, like she's imagining what kind of story _that_ would be. "_Really interesting._" I smile at her sweetly, and even bat my lashes for good measure, which totally freaks her out. It's awesome.

She shudders and sits down. "Please just take us home."

I hold back a laugh at how uncomfortable I've made her. It's so easy. "Well," I turn my attention to the controls. "I think I've figured it out." I start fiddling with the radio knobs, paying close attention to the random numbers on the display, and suddenly, they don't seem so random. So I turn the volume control a bit. And then I hit the 'seek' button a few times. I fiddle with the knob that may or may not control the windshield wipers. And then, with a triumphant smirk, I honk the horn.

_Wub-wub-wub._

"Please let it be home," she says, repeating it over and over until the wubbing stops.

The cupcake isn't shaking... There's no dinosaur screeching or revolutionary cannon fire coming from outside… The air feels normal, and I didn't touch the lever, so we're probably not in space…

Tentatively, I look through the periscope. "Well…"

"Oh man, where are we?" She puts her face in her hands. "_When_ are we?"

"Judging by the totally disgusting sight in front of me…" And it is. Totally disgusting. Robbie's picking at a wedgie. "I'd say we're right back where we started. When we started."

Vega shoots out of her seat and runs for the door. She pushes it open and literally throws herself onto the asphalt outside. I hope she hurt her face when she landed. I get out of my seat and casually exit the cupcake, like it didn't just take me on a totally weird and random adventure through time and space. "You're gonna pick up some gross disease if you keep kissing the pavement like that. Don't stop."

Either Vega doesn't hear me, or doesn't care, because she keeps kissing the ground.

"Jade! Toro!" Sikowitz rounds the cupcake. "I thought you were taking this baby on a test drive."

"Oh," I chuckle darkly, "_we did_."

His eyebrows draw together as he takes a long sip from his coconut. He swallows and smacks his lips. "I have long since given up on trying to decipher your strange comments." And then he wanders off without another word.

Vega stands up, finally, and sighs in relief as a smile stretches across her face. "California. Present day California. _Hollywood Arts_!" She throws her arms out like she's going to try and hug the building and I roll my eyes.

"We were gone for, like, an hour. Maybe. Chill out and stop being so dramatic."

"Jade! Tori!"

"_Cat_," Vega and I whisper in unison, turning to face the tiny redhead running towards us.

"How did the cupcake drive?" Cat smiles as she comes to a stop next to us.

Vega's eye twitches and she looks like she might actually murder the girl in front of us. Not if I beat her to it. "Kitty-Cat," I say sweetly, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. The poor thing still hasn't learned to be scared of me when I call her that. "The cupcake drove wonderfully. And as a thank you for building it, I want to show you my _special_ new scissors."

Vega's eyes light up and the smile on her face matches mine. Menacing, to say the least. "Yeah, Cat," she coos, "they're really nice. And _shiny_."

"Oh!" Cat claps her hands together and giggles. "I love shiny things!"

"I know," I whisper, shooting Vega a wink as I steer Cat back towards the building. "I know."

Vega's grin is positively wicked as she watches us leave. I'm actually a little proud that she's managed to get enjoyment from the idea of me torturing Cat. Maybe I'll bring her back one of the redhead's arms as a present. It should only take a couple of weeks to rot.

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**AN: My other story is kind of on the serious side, and I just really wanted to write a silly Jori thing. This is a oneshot right now, but I'm debating whether or not to make it a multi-chapter. What do you all think? Is there any interest in more time-travelling-Jori? What if I bribe you with promising that it'll become a time-travelling-Jori-romance? Drop a review and let me know!**


	2. Wedding Cake

**So… I was on the fence about continuing this, but a few of you seemed to really like it, so I decided why not. Invader Johnny said it would be cool to read chapters in character between Jade and Tori, and I can dig that idea. So this chapter is Tori's POV, and the next one will be Jade's, and so on and so on.**

**Some events from the show will be mentioned throughout, but it's going to be very non-linear, background sort of noise, so keep that in mind if events are all out of order.**

* * *

Jade didn't kill Cat. She chopped off all her hair, mauled her favorite purple giraffe, and replaced Cat's science paper with a detailed, and I mean _detailed_, report about serial killers that got Cat escorted off school grounds by police, but she didn't actually kill her. She does look like she wants to kill me, though.

Sure, I've kind of turned into her shadow, and, yeah, I _might_ keep shooting her wide-eyed looks that annoy her, but c'mon! The _Cupcake Incident_! She's acting like nothing happened and I keep trying to get her to talk about it, but she blows me off or pushes me away or threatens me with her scissors. I can't help it if I want her to confirm that it actually happened, because I still can't believe that it was real.

I mean, we have a time machine! That flies through space! That's crazy! And you'd think I'd be used to weird chizz happening to me, because weird chizz _always_ happens to me, but this is on a whole new level. And Jade is just stalking around school like everything's normal. But I have to keep trying, so I sidle up beside her at her locker and she rolls her eyes when she sees me coming. "Hey, Jade?" I raise my eyebrows in curiosity and she sighs heavily. "Remember that time? With the thing? And the stuff?" I cast a nervous glance around the hallway, trying to be subtle in case one of our classmates overhears. Last thing I need is to get carted off like Cat.

"Yeah, Vega." Jade slams her locker shut. "I remember. I can't seem to forget it, no matter how hard I try. And I've got a fun idea," she says lightly, adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder. "Let's take it for a spin to a planet covered in bush daisies!"

"Let's not," I say slowly. "I'm really allergic to bush daisies."

"I know," she smirks. "That's what would make it fun."

I open my mouth to yell at her for being mean to me, but it closes again with an audible click. "Wait, how'd you know I'm allergic to bush daisies?"

A wolfish grin curls her lips. "I do my research."

"Okay," I drawl, "_that_ was creepy." With a shrug Jade heads off to Sikowitz's class, and my footsteps patter after her, trying to keep up. "How did you know about the bush daisies, but not that I can speak a little French?"

"Because medical records don't list chizz like that."

"Medical-oomph." Leave it to Jade to shut the door in my face. "Jade!" I open the door and follow her into the classroom. "You just slammed a door in my face!"

"Maybe you shouldn't walk into doors when I'm slamming them!" Our shouting draws the attention of some shruggers, who turn their heads in our direction.

"Maybe you shouldn't," I sputter, gesturing wildly, "ya know," I'm floundering, trying to think of a good comeback, and Jade's looking at me like my struggle is the funniest thing she's seen all week, "have a face!"

"Oh, Tori," Sikowitz is leaning in through the open window, his chin in his hands as he gives me a look of pity, "dear, sweet, innocent, Tori." He shakes his head and sighs. "That was a _terrible_ insult!" He snaps, finally climbing into the classroom.

"Yeah, it was pretty bad," Andre mutters from his seat in the front of the class. I shoot him an offended scoff. He's supposed to have my back!

"Thanks to Tori," Sikowitz gestures for me to go and stand on the small stage, "I have come up with a lesson for today." He slides into the empty chair next to Andre and crosses his legs. "We're going to sharpen our wit and improvise some insults. Hopefully some of them hit a little harder than Tori's 'face' comment."

I drag my feet to the front, my shoulders slumped and every inch of my face pressed in a pout. "I could hit Jade with a great comeback."

"You couldn't even hit water if you fell out of a boat," Jade mumbles from her normal seat in the back.

"Ha!" Sikowitz barks out a laugh and points over his shoulder at her. "Now _that_ was a good one. Everyone, go ahead and say the meanest things you can think of. Tori, whenever you think of a comeback, just spit it out!"

I snap to attention and my eyes widen in horror. Seriously? This is the class for the day? People are just going to hurl insults at me? Luckily everyone seems hesitant. Well, _almost_ everyone. Jade leans forward in her seat, the widest, most terrifying grin I've ever seen in my life stretching slowly across her lips. "When you were born," she says casually, "instead of a birth certificate, the hospital gave your parents an apology letter."

My mouth falls open in shock, and it seems like Jade inspired the class, because pretty soon everyone is just shouting insults at the stage. Even a couple shruggers throw lines out, doing more than just reacting for once. With each one, I grow more and more irritated while Sikowitz is just sitting there nodding and laughing. It's horrible! "It was nice of you to dress like such a bum today, Vega," Jade smirks, "you're making it really easy for us to make fun of you."

Oh, that is it. "Your outfit is really nice, too, Jade," I say as a really, genuinely sweet smile takes over my face. "I bet you'd make some money if you stood on the street corner."

Jade's visibly shocked for a moment and I smirk triumphantly. Yeah, I can return a serve, West. But then she regains her composure and returns my smile and my stomach drops. Her nose scrunches up as her condescending smile grows a little bigger. "You know, I would, but your mom's already there."

Well! That was just _rude_!

"Oh!" Sikowitz almost jumps out of his seat with glee. "A 'your mom' joke! Excellent!" He claps his hands together as he stands up and turns to face the class. "I think that's a good place to end this lesson."

"Finally," I breathe, rushing off the stage to sit down. That was the most traumatic thing that's happened to me since Cat got that zombie mask stuck on my face with Grizzly Glue.

"So, what have we learned today?" Sikowitz asks us all.

"That you're _actually_ a lunatic and Vega's wit is about as quick as a turtle that's lost its legs?" Jade guesses, looking ridiculously pleased with herself. I shoot her a scowl over my shoulder.

"Yes!" He snaps his fingers and points at her. I don't even have time to get offended that he agreed with her insult, because he barrels on. "Now, before the lunch bell rings, I need some volunteers to dismantle the Parade Parade float. Apparently it's an 'eyesore' and a 'traffic hazard' and Principal Helen will 'fire' me if I don't 'remove it from the vicinity' 'promptly'." He's airquoting so much it looks like he's developed some weird twitch in his hands.

Of course my hand is the first, and only, one to shoot into the air. "Jade and I can do it."

"Fabulous!" Sikowitz shouts at the same time that she screams "WHAT?!"

"Consider it punishment for being a total grunch to Toro in class today." Sikowitz shoves his hands into his pockets and pulls out a few dirty tissues, a coconut, a pair of handcuffs, and a small keychain. He tosses the keys to me, and I spin in my seat to grin at her. She _has_ to talk to me about the cupcake now. She can be as much of a gank as she wants, but I'm gonna get her to help me.

"Why am I being punished? It was your stupid assignment to be mean to her!"

"Yes, but," he flaps his hands in her general direction, "you enjoyed it too much. I don't like seeing you so happy. It freaks me out," he mumbles right as the bell rings.

"Forget it! I'm not doing it."

"Oh, Jade," Sikowitz sighs with pity. "Deranged, sadistic, insolent, Jade. You will help Tori or I will fail you for the semester."

Jade sends me the deadliest death glare I've ever seen and I actually flinch away. She roars in frustration and snatches her bag off the floor, pushing a poor shrugger out of her way as she storms out of class.

Jammit! I grab my bag and quickly run after her. "Jade!" I call out. She's already near the door to the parking lot. "Jade, wait up!"

"I don't wait," she calls over her shoulder, pushing straight through the door. I manage to catch it before it slams into my face this time. "Either you walk faster or you get left behind." She's fuming as I catch up to her at the Grub Truck, and she shoves her hand out towards me. "Give me the stupid keys."

I pull them out of my pocket, but cling to them, refusing to hand them over. "Jade, I want to-"

"I don't care what you want," she snaps, spinning around to face me. I almost slam into her, stopping myself at the last moment and swaying awkwardly. "I don't know why you opened your stupid mouth, but I'm not failing Sikowitz's class because of _you_." She tries to grab the keys from me, but I just shove my hand into the air above my head. Her eyes widen dangerously and I think that, yeah, she is _actually_ going to kill me.

"I'll make you a deal!" I scream desperately. I sound panicked enough that she refrains from publicly murdering me, and I quickly continue. "I'll dismantle the cupcake all by myself. _ If…_ you take me somewhere in it first."

"I'm not taking that thing anywhere except the scrapyard."

"But you know how to drive it. You know how to get it to do the," the keys jingle as I motion with my hands, "the _wub-wub_." We stare at each other for a minute. I know there's hope in my eyes. I can feel my eyebrows curving up because I've been trying _all week_ to get her to talk about this. To listen to me. I don't know if Jade's going to attack me, or say 'no' to my deal, but she's being quiet and staring and it's making me nervous. "Please, Jade? _Please_?"

Her eyes narrow. "Thirty minutes, Vega."

"Okay," I agree quickly.

"Thirty minutes for _whatever_, and then we come right back."

"Okay."

"But you do all the work and then tell Sikowitz I helped so he doesn't fail me, _and_," she can tell how desperate I am, so she pushes her luck, "give me all your lunch money for a month."

That… is not a bad deal. Honestly, for Jade, it's downright generous. "Okay." I nod my head and hold the keys out. "Deal."

I'm sure she thinks that having to spend thirty minutes with me is better than the several hours it would take to demolish the cupcake. So she snatches the keys away quickly and heads off towards the giant cupcake sitting in the far corner of the parking lot. I run after her.

"So, where are we going?" She asks as we get into the cupcake.

I close the door with an excited squeak. "That big cathedral in Northridge."

She sits down at the controls as I plop onto the spiral staircase. "What's the date?" She asks as she starts plugging information into the radio. I should really pay attention to what she's doing. Figure out how to fly this thing myself.

"Tuesday."

Jade straightens up a little, her eyelids sliding closed before opening again. "The _date_, Vega. That cathedral is, like, a hundred years old. I need to know _when_ you want to go to the stupid church."

"Oh, right," I chuckle. "July 14, 1963. It's the day my-"

"I don't care," she interrupts quickly, setting the date on the display. "Just go and do whatever it is you want to do and then leave me alone so I can forget this stupid thing even exists." She honks the horn for emphasis.

_Wub-wub-wub_.

I stare expectantly at the ceiling, waiting for us to arrive. I'm so excited I can't sit still. I've had this idea ever since I got home the other day. Like, we have a time machine. We can go _anywhere_. Jade looks through the periscope and shoos me towards the door. "We're here. Go. Do. Leave."

I stand up and then turn back to her, frowning slightly. "You're not gonna come?"

She frowns back. "Do I need to?"

"Well, no, but-"

"Then no." She leans back in her seat and folds her arms over her chest. "I'm not coming."

I roll my eyes with a sigh. I guess it was too much to hope that maybe we could, y'know, _bond_ a little over this whole crazy experience. "Alright, Jade. I'll be back."

"Thirty minutes or I'm leaving without you," she calls over her shoulder just as the door shuts behind me.

I step into the street outside and my heart swells in my chest. It looks _exactly_ like the pictures. Just how I always imagined it. The church is huge, and there are tons of people streaming up the steps towards the entrance. I giggle happily and join the crowd. I must look so out of place, because everyone's wearing nice suits and fancy dresses and here I am, in jeans and a t-shirt.

I shuffle past a group of women who all have matching beehives and give them a huge grin, which they return with confused smiles. They look like one of those old girl groups, and I ask them if they are. They shake their heads 'no' and I quickly leave. Oops.

I'm in too good of a mood to be bothered by the strange looks I'm receiving, because this is _so_ cool! After the first trip, once I'd calmed down after _almost being eaten by dinosaurs_, I did a lot of thinking. The whole thing didn't seem real. It still doesn't, really. But I thought, what if it _was_ real, and I really _could_ travel through time. Where would I want to go? This was the first place I thought of, and now I'm so glad I did. I don't even care if I have to spend the whole night at school taking apart the cupcake by myself, because this is totally worth it.

I walk through the doors of the cathedral and my breath hitches in my chest. It's so beautiful! The ceilings are vaulted, and I don't know anything about architecture but it looks amazing. All the walls are covered with stained glass windows and the sun is casting beautiful rainbows across the wooden floors and I can feel tears forming in my eyes. I spin around, just basking in the atmosphere. The excited murmuring filling the air inside the cathedral. And then I see a familiar form, her black hair falling softly around her shoulders, and I grin.

My heart stirs with hope in my chest as I step up behind Jade. Maybe she just got bored waiting in the cupcake, but maybe she actually wanted to see what was so important to me? I smile and say, "It's my grandparents' wedding." Her head whips to the side and her face screws up in disgust as a tear slides down my cheek. Well, I guess that answers my question. I clear my throat and smile up at the ceiling. "It's even more beautiful than the pictures made it look."

She rolls her eyes, but her lips twitch and there's no real malice in her voice when she finally speaks. "It smells like old people," she grumbles, shooting a pointed glance at an old Latino man easing down into one of the pews near us. I can't help but chuckle, because she's pouting like a toddler and it's adorable. Even if she only came in because she was bored, she still came in. And maybe we _can_ bond a little bit. Become actual friends.

"No it doesn't," I murmur. "It smells like tulips." I lean down to sniff the yellow and red bouquet at the end of an aisle. "They were my abuela's favorite." I'm sure Jade's about to make a witty and scathing comment that is sure to wipe the smile off my face, but the cathedral bells come to life and I grab her arm in excitement. "Oh, the ceremony's about to start. Come on!"

I drag her to the closest pew and sit down, tugging on her arm. "Get off," she hisses, ripping her arm away from me. I flap my hands at her and she rolls her eyes, sitting down as a mariachi band starts playing from somewhere up near the altar. Her eyes almost roll out of her head and she groans like it's the worst thing she's ever heard in her life. I smack her arm just as the bridal party starts their procession. I watch as almost a dozen bridesmaids start filing into the church and walking down the aisle. I let out little 'oh's as each one passes, quietly informing Jade of who they are, if I actually recognize them. "I think that one's Maria. My grandmother stopped talking to her, though, when-"

"Tori," Jade hisses, "shut up and watch."

My mouth snaps shut, but my smile never falters. A few more pass, and then a huge white dress comes into view, and my mouth falls completely open as I actually gasp. Loudly. I think I start murmuring in Spanish, tears running freely down my cheeks. She looks gorgeous! She's so young and beautiful and I miss her so much I can't help but feel overwhelmed. Jade rolls her eyes, her elbow connecting with my ribs. "Pull yourself together," she whispers harshly. "You've seen pictures of her in the damn dress before."

I can't even get mad at her for being so rude, because my grandmother steps up to the altar and my grandfather is looking at her with so much love in his eyes it breaks my heart. I miss them both so much. The minister starts talking in Spanish, and I can see Jade's face scrunch up out of the corner of my eye. She probably didn't realize this wedding was also a full mass. It's how we do. My grandfather takes one of my grandmother's hands in his and they're both staring at each other with so much happiness.

My hands cover my mouth as I choke back a sob. I don't think I thought this plan through. It had kind of been a whim. Like, hey! Travel through time and see your dead grandparents' wedding! Sure! Awesome! But it's just making me miss them so much and I'm crying openly and Jade rolls her eyes as she slips out of the aisle. Leaving in the middle of mass is probably a guaranteed ticket to hell, but I don't think Jade really cares. It's probably just tacked onto the bottom of a laundry list of other reasons.

I let her go and continue staring at my grandparents. They're so beautiful.

The ceremony is wonderful and I jump out of my seat when they're announced Husband and Wife. I think I'm cheering louder than anyone else, and my cheeks hurt from smiling so much, but it was worth it. I've missed them for so long, and it's nice that I got to finally _see_ the day they both talked about their entire lives. They both said, right up until they died, that their wedding day was the happiest day of either of their lives. It had started their journey together and was the reason they had everything they did. My dad, my aunt, our whole family, everything they loved in the world was a result of their wedding day. The way they talked about it always made me want to find someone who I could love like that. Someone I could build a family with. Grow old with. Love until the day I die.

I'm still wiping tears out of my eyes as I walk out of the cathedral. A few people are still milling around, but most of them have probably already headed off to the reception. From the stories my grandparents told, it was an awesome party. I kind of really want to go, but I don't want to miss my ride back home, so I hurry off towards the cupcake. I'll have to find some way to thank Jade for taking me. Maybe I can buy her some nice scissors or a Jet Brew gift card or something.

The cupcake is still parked, thankfully, and I climb in with a big smile. "Jade, thank you so much," I say as I close the door behind me. She's sitting at the wheel, her arms across her stomach and her head hanging. Did she fall asleep? Did she _die_? "Jade?" I walk over and place my hand on her shoulder. As soon as it makes contact, her head jerks up and I almost fall over in surprise. My hand flies to my heart as she shoots me a dark look.

"You're not destroying it."

I blink in confusion. "What? Why?"

"Sikowitz said Helen wants it off school grounds." Her hands quickly program the radio and she shoves her palm aggressively into the steering wheel. "We'll find somewhere to park it, but you're not destroying it."

_Wub-wub-wub_.

Okay, I don't know where her change of heart came from. All week she's been avoiding me, or the subject of the cupcake, and now she suddenly wants to _keep_ it? "Jade?" She presses her eyes against the periscope and I inch closer. "Did something happen?"

"You got any ideas where to park this?" She asks, completely ignoring my question.

"Uh, not really. What-"

"Vega!" She snaps, turning her head sharply towards me. "If you aren't going to offer up any suggestions, then don't talk."

The cupcake starts rolling forward and I climb up to look out one of the portholes. We're heading out of the school parking lot. Slowly. Agonizingly slowly. I settle down on the bench and watch as Jade takes us wherever we're going. Her face screws up against the eyepiece. "Your driveway's pretty big, right?"

"Yeah, but I don't-"

"Great. We'll park it there."

Seriously, what happened? I shift over to the stairs, trying to see her face more clearly. "Why do you want to keep it?" The corner of her mouth turns down, but she doesn't answer. "Is this about my grandparents' wedding?" Some small, hopeful part of me thinks maybe she's being nice, letting me keep the cupcake in case there's anywhere else I want to go. But a bigger part knows that Jade isn't that nice. She's ignoring me, which pretty much confirms that whatever her reason is, it's probably a selfish one. "Did," I say slowly, tilting my head, "did you _go _somewhere?"

"It's none of your business."

So that's a yes, then. "Where?"

"I don't repeat myself," she growls. "Mind your own damn business."

Deciding not to push it, I lean against the rail and just watch her as the cupcake creeps along. Eventually her frown fades, but her hands stay clenched around the steering wheel. Her knuckles are bleached white after ten minutes and her shoulders are tense. One of the muscles in her neck is hard and I realize that her breathing is kind of labored. She's totally freaking out, in her own Jade way. "Jade," I say slowly, standing up. "What happened?"

I try to put a hand on her shoulder, which is a stupid move even when Jade's in a good mood. And she is so _not_ in a good mood right now. Her hand flies off the wheel and slams into my stomach, knocking me backwards. I feel the space-lever dig into my lower back and the whole cupcake shakes around us.

Oh no. Not this again.

* * *

**Okay, yay, there's chapter two! I'm working out an actual plot for this, but it might just devolve into Jori's Random Adventures In Time. We'll see what happens. Feel free to drop a review if the fancy strikes, and I'll see y'all on the flip side :)**


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